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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25590457">Ghost of a Name</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakennaSweets1967/pseuds/MakennaSweets1967'>MakennaSweets1967</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Sad Sam Winchester, Sad and Happy, Song: Carry on My Wayward Son (Kansas)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:00:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25590457</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakennaSweets1967/pseuds/MakennaSweets1967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam hadn't heard it for a long time. Years in fact. He carried on consumed by the unending suffering he continued to endure.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester &amp; Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ghost of a Name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Me at two am this is the content.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam hadn't heard it for a long time. Years in fact. He carried on consumed by the unending suffering he continued to endure. </p>
<p>No trace of the name left his lip. Never crossing the divide between his thoughts and real life. He thought hearing it, speaking it would crush him under the anvil of pain that dangled above him on a thin string. </p>
<p>Sam couldn't even think it in his head, the only person who had truly been there for him was gone. This time for good, there were no second chances. </p>
<p>The image clear as a whiskey glass burned in his memories. Holding the name back. </p>
<p>There was nothing behind his eyes anymore no spark, no light at the end of a cruel twisted tunnel. Just agony.  </p>
<p>A ghost on his skin, from where he clutched his lifeless body one last time. It was as if the tear streaks never left his face. </p>
<p>The pain never eased. </p>
<p>Castiel never spoke the name either. Whether it was for Sam’s sake or his own Sam didn't dwell on the thought. </p>
<p>Now they drank till their worlds went blurry and the pain inside numbed. Looking at each other with an equal measure of sorrow and sympathy each for a different reason. </p>
<p>The time for planning, for sober thoughts just a distant memory of a time before the unending torment. Now they threw themselves at each case. Without regard to the danger, unbeknownst what they were getting themselves into. Driving on autopilot without any seatbelt. </p>
<p>Soon the car would go spinning out. The tires squealing as they lost control with no recollection of how to drive. Windows shattering, the metal crunching under the weight as it went rolling across the gravel. </p>
<p>On autopilot for so long they no longer had manual. Cut out by the dull end of a silver blade. </p>
<p>The name he couldn't say lingering in the air. Choking him with each breath.</p>
<p>Even after years that went by with their reckless endeavors he hadn't heard it. Until he did. </p>
<p>Castiel stumbled across the barn, bloodied and bruised. Each step he took swaying gracelessly. He clutched his wounded side, crimson blood seeping between his fingers. Spilling onto the concrete. </p>
<p>A spectacle of horror before Sam’s vacant eyes.   </p>
<p>Castiel's vision blurred as he searched, the world around him peeling away. As if it were the paint on a sun-soaked house. His memories fading the angel couldn't even remember who he was. </p>
<p>Every memory snatched away like it was never there. All that remained was an unsettling warmth and the remnants of the world in front of him. </p>
<p>Castiel saw the shadow of a man. His windswept blonde hair, emerald eyes, and a dazzling smile painted across his face. The beautiful man stood grinning in a blinding light, his arms open waiting for Cas to stumble into them ”Dean” </p>
<p>Sam finally heard it again the last breath Cas took. The name he hadn't heard in a long time. Dean.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading sorry for being sad. I love how she turned out though. Stay strong and keep fighting. - Makenna Sweets</p></blockquote></div></div>
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